Heavy, they say, is the head that wears the crown. It has been said often enough to be a cliché, but it is still ignored enough to bear repeating, especially since it contains a veal of truth, more so if you are a female executive.
For International Women’s Day this year, the BDLife called up a few female executives to find out what’s underneath the glamorous corporate hood.
“Luck and God play their part, but I am also playing mine.”
What feels different about time now as compared to five years ago?
Almost everything has been digitised, and people are consuming a lot of content.
In the creative industry five years ago, we had gatekeepers who would decide who makes it or doesn’t. Now all you need to reach an audience is a phone and a platform. The feedback on your content comes immediately.
At your level, do you deal with imposter syndrome?
I don’t think one ever outgrows it. You start questioning whether you are just lucky or if you deserve to be where you are. I struggle with it, but I remind myself that I would never have survived for eight years if I wasn’t good enough. I have seen many one-hit wonders. Luck and God play their part, but I am also playing mine.
What part of your personality do people underestimate the most?
I have no idea.
What would you tell your younger self to stop overpreparing for?
Criticism. I was always ready for it. The Churchill Show gave me a platform and I am forever grateful, but it came with a lot of pressure. I don’t even know how I survived performing for 1,000 people with no training on public speaking! If I knew what I know now, I would have prepared for stage fright better. Instead I was always prepared for failure.
What did your younger self think success would feel like now?
A good home, a car, and money. Now, the bar is higher. I don’t even know what Elon Musk is better at than me!
What is the weirdest piece of advice you've given yourself?
That people will always come back. They always do, by the way. I've believed it so much and it keeps happening. Imagine if I told myself that I was a billionaire every time. It may have already happened as well, haha!
Lately, I've become surprisingly good at... Being consistent and disciplined, and completing all my tasks without giving excuses. I am good at holding myself accountable.
Nasra Yusuf Ahmed is one of the funniest stand up comedians Kenya has produced.
Photo credit: Pool
What is the one lie women should stop believing?
That men are good people, haha! Accept people for who they are; they hardly change.
“When you get to different levels, you develop different expectations of yourself. I don't think that’s imposter syndrome.” What has kept me going is that I am capable of getting through whatever comes my way if I keep an open mind and do not take myself too seriously.
What do you wish you'd worried less about in your career?
Perfection. As I got older, I was concerned about having everything organised and ready. I would advise people to just take a chance. There are two outcomes to any scenario: you get it, you win, and you deliver. If you don't, you take the lessons and move on. Have no fear.
What would you tell your younger self to stop over-preparing for?
In the past, I'd always say you must be over-prepared. When I became a mom, I wanted to make sure everything was in order. Now, I'd say prepare, but don’t over-prepare. Take things as they come, because not everything has a solution.
Not everything has to be done in a particular way. Some things you learn on the go, and motherhood is one of those. In your career, be open and flexible. I started in operations, got an opportunity as an analyst, then another in product management, and I took it.
What's a superpower most women have that they completely underestimate?
We underplay our intuition because there's a sort of checklist and framework that we must work with. But sometimes that feeling in your tummy gives you direction that a checklist would perhaps not have given you.
What did success look like when you were starting out in your career?
In my 20s, success was owning a home and having assets. Success in my 40s is rooted in personal fulfilment and impact. I am investing more in experiences and relationships.
What did choosing your career make easier or harder than you expected?
My career was a collection of different experiences. I thought I’d work in oil and gas, but I got into banking and financial services, and I made the best of it. I can't say I mapped out everything perfectly, but it opened up different doors and different pathways in different areas.
Esther Waititu, Chief Financial Services Officer at Safaricom PLC.
Photo credit: Pool
Lately, I've become surprisingly good at?
Letting things go. I read Mel Robbins' book The Let Them Theory and learned that the only thing I can control is how I respond.
What lies should women stop believing?
That your future lies in someone else's hands. No one is holding you back but yourself.
CAROLYNE KENDI, Founder, CK Marketing & Coaching Ltd
“Slow down to go faster.”
Carolyne Kendi doesn't believe that imposter syndrome ever goes away. It’s the discomfort of growth.
How does that discomfort look like for you?
I moved from a 20+ year career in managing big brands to entrepreneurship. There are many doubts, and I feel I am an experienced marketer but a baby entrepreneur. There is fear of failure now, while before I could just hide behind the brand.
As an entrepreneur, everything stops with you. Yet it's the same things you have been doing for the last 20 years.
How do you navigate it?
One, discomfort is a sign of growth, so I am comfortable with it. Two, I surround myself with people who remind me who I am, and encourage me.
What part of your personality do people underestimate the most?
My decisiveness. I am an extrovert, relational, and expressive. I am very good at evaluating options and making choices. I believe that great creativity comes as a result of thinking under the hood, structure, and focus.
What is the weirdest piece of advice you've given yourself?
Slow down to go faster. When I was younger, I was an Energizer Bunny, I wanted to be seen being busy. I am learning to appreciate stillness, which offers clarity. Success is not in many things, but fewer, bigger, and better.
What do you do that completely contradicts your public image?
I am a 96 percent extrovert, but I am also very introspective. I spend a lot of quiet time thinking, processing, structuring my thoughts, journalling and praying. Reflection is extremely powerful. Can I call myself an introspective extrovert? [chuckles]
Why not. What did you believe about success that has since changed?
Success is not a destination but a journey. It’s a state. Every time you reach a milestone, you find another mountain to summit. Success for me is being content with yourself at every stage. The practise of gratitude is essential to me, so that I can recognise how far I have come and how far I can still go, while enjoying the journey.
What’s a small pleasure you fiercely protect?
I love school drop-offs. I have a 14-year-old son, and I love the quality time we have when I drop him off, whether it be filled with music or just talking. The journey back is my reflection time.
I do my personal development, then my spiritual life, or podcasts to fill my soul. I should have started this 20 years ago [chuckles].
Lately, I have become surprisingly good at…
Letting go and letting God. Get out of the way and let God do his thing. There is immense power in release.
Carolyne Kendi, Chief Marketing Officer at Absa Bank Kenya.
Photo credit: Pool
I have become surprisingly good at flow.
What is a lie women should stop believing?
That everybody must like you. Sometimes we tend to people please but as a woman, you need to be clear about your value system and who you are, and express that, and let those who can’t respect that go. People pleasing makes women more susceptible to holding onto rejection from people who shouldn’t even have been in your life in the first place.
EDNA KARIJO, Associate Director at eMobilis and Vice President, Internet Society of Kenya
‘Be open to possibilities and don’t worry so much about the journey.’
What can you tell me about imposter syndrome?
Studies have already shown that women always want to be 100 percent before they make a move, even if it’s just taking on a new role. A man will go for an opportunity when they are at 50 percent ready.
From my experience, go for it, keep moving forward, but also try to connect your dots backwards, knowing that every person and every leader has a different journey. Look at what is unique in your own journey, and what are the key things that you've done that can get you to that leadership role, but then give you the confidence to help you battle imposter syndrome.
What do you wish you'd worried less about in your career?
I'd encourage myself to be more open to the possibilities that are in the future, and not worry about what the journey will look like, and whether I could live up to the expectations of those looking up to me.
What's a mistake that you made early on in your career that defined success for you?
A decade ago, I left full-time employment to champion digital interest in communities and young people through Google Digital Skills for Africa. It was a concern for those around me that I would take such a risk, but I strongly believed in that mission of going to the ground and helping young people understand digital literacy and digital skills.
10 years later, that has defined me. A PS at that time, Professor Bitange Ndemo, heard my story and wrote about it in The Business Daily Africa, saying this is what Africa needs.
What is the most avoidable mistake you see most women making in the corporate world?
Trying to live up to other people's expectations. Authenticity is key if you have to thrive as a leader.
What's a superpower that most women have that they completely underestimate?
Strategic thinking and the ability to quickly break down something and plan for it. What most people call multitasking, I'd call it multitasking and problem solving.
What leadership advice for women keeps them feeling small?
Being told you are not capable or qualified, as opposed to your male counterparts, who are measured as per their capability. The man gets an opportunity with the premise of being capable of doing this; but the woman will be measured on her previous track record. Is she qualified? What did she achieve, rather than what can she do or achieve?
VIVIAN ACHIENG, Marketing Director, Persons Care, East, West & South Africa at Unilever
“I remind the voices in my head who I am.”
Do you ever suffer from imposter syndrome?
I think we all do. Women play so many roles, and you always feel inadequate or insufficient because you're not able to give everything 100 percent focus. Imposter syndrome is a constant, but I've learned to be audacious and to silence the voices in my head by reminding them who I am.
How do you deal with it yourself?
I remind myself how far I've come and the obstacles I have faced. I read Bible verses, and tell myself I can do so much more. I am very stubborn. When I decide to get something done, professionally or personally, I do it fully. I am also quite tenacious and resilient, so imposter syndrome becomes more of a side effect because the further you walk, the more confident you become.
When a man is assertive, they're called strong. But when you are, what are you called?
Difficult, arrogant, angry. There's a word we can't use because this is a family newspaper. I have two daughters, and I try to imagine a world in which they are not confident because of the journey that I've walked on.
Confidence for me is the ultimate asset you can ever have. You have to believe that you will be successful. And the world needs more women who believe in themselves, because we have a lot of competition and infighting. My strongest supporters have been women, starting with my mother and first managers, like Margaret Mwaura, who formerly held my post.
What tips do you have for surviving leadership as a female executive?
Haha! You have to be twice as competent because you’ll always be questioned. Build confidence and networks; your core competence is extremely critical because it builds credibility.
More women need to articulate the impact of the career choices they've had to make, because it's not perfect, right? The role of women who have risen to leadership is to make it easier for the women who follow, because they know how difficult the path is.
What did your younger self think success would feel like now?
Actually, my younger self was very ambitious. I grew up in South B, and I would read newspapers about people with big jobs. My view of success was very material because I wanted things, status, titles, and money. But material ambition can be quite empty. There’s always something new to buy, a step to climb.
Success is now the inner work you need to do to become a better human being and orient yourself to a purpose. Why am I here? Success is moving toward legacy. What am I leaving behind, rather than what do I have?
What part of your personality do people underestimate the most? I love adventure and strength training. Nothing makes me happier than lifting weights in a sweaty gym. I love fast cars. Oh, and my sense of humour, which is unexpected.
Lately, I've become surprisingly good at…
Reordering things in my head. As a mother, as a career person, sometimes I'm mentally juggling 1,500 things. Now, I consider what's urgent, what's important, and what comes later. Also, I've learned to set boundaries and say No.
What is the one lie women should stop believing?
That we have to become like men to succeed. You have to become more aggressive, or arrogant, or to put your point forcefully because, unfortunately, in a lot of instances, you're making that point in the midst of people that exhibit these behaviours naturally.
Women need to understand that you can still do those things as yourself. Sometimes what you bring to the table is your femininity, softness, empathy and kindness.
