Last time I visited Amsterdam, seven years ago, I ate steak and burgers in a very strange steakhouse on Handboogstraat. That experience never left me. The place was a peculiar mix of spooky and stimulating. I’m back in the city now and, naturally, I returned for this strange dinner experience
It sits on a dead, cold side street, and the moment you push open the door, you step into a completely different world- lively dinner chatter, music, heat. We hadn’t booked a table because we are Kenyans and, as punishment-and because the bar was full- we stood at a corner with our shopping bags at our feet, sipping drinks while we waited. About 30 minutes of quiet reflection on poor life choices.
We were eventually sat near a wooden staircase leading down to the kitchen and cloakrooms. The waiters were eccentric young men with all manner of imaginative hairstyles. Most that reminded me of animals that burrow. I looked around. I had forgotten just how bizarre the whole place is.
It has a sexy, dungeon-like aesthetic- dolls hanging from the rafters above the staircase, ropes tied around their necks. The kind of dolls you’d expect to see in The Exorcist. On one wall, a glass case displays crude instruments that could pass for torture devices- but what do I know? I’ve never seen instruments of torture.
Old black-and-white portraits hang nearby, presumably of the founders’ family- grim-looking people who don’t seem like they laughed much. People who seemed to understand the architect of flesh.
But all of this - very eerie detail - comes down to the food. This is some of the best steak you will eat in a while. Money-back guarantee. I had the 170g Le Cannibale Royale burger, the same one I ordered seven years ago. It’s so good it feels faintly sinful. My Lady had the 250g Le Wagyu steak. We both ordered creamed spinach.
We ate mostly in silence. Not complete silence- there was nodding. The kind of nodding that says, yes, this is worth it. A quiet, shared awe at how carnivorous one can become in the right environment. Even one as spooky and faintly cannibalistic as this. Next time you find yourself here, kindly visit this place.
